Two nights ago, I had the nightmare again. It started out pleasantly. I was lying on a raft in the ocean and the sun was just peeking over the horizon. I felt hot, so I went to get into the water, but I couldn’t move. Suddenly, everything went black, and I was completely submerged. I couldn’t breathe, and the water felt thick and slimy and was the colour of algae. I tried to scream but nothing came out. A dozen silver snakes came crawling up my body, wrapping themselves around me. Just before I woke up, they simultaneously opened their red eyes and fixated on me. I woke up gasping for air, feeling sickly and cold. Isaac asked me what was wrong, but I didn’t want to worry him over a stupid dream.
Ever since we started treatment, Isaac has been super protective of me. He seems worried a lot of the time. I think he’s afraid someone might take advantage of me. He even installed cameras around the outside of the house, just in case. I guess he just wants to be safe rather than sorry especially since he is usually at work.
I went to the therapist yesterday and talked about the dream as well as my depression about forgetting Jamaica. She said it was completely normal to have some depression as the loss of memory could, in some ways, be similar to the grief we experience when we lose a loved one. She thinks that, side effects aside, my dreams are likely a result of stress and that I need to find ways de-stress.
So, this morning, I went to the park and read a book.
I must admit, it made me feel better to just lay out in the sun and focus on something besides my memory. As I sit here, I am trying a new tea that is supposed to be calming.
If anyone has any suggestions to de-stress, I’m all ears. I really want these dreams to stop.